Saturday 8th December 2012.

The New Market Pub,


The Neuros Live.


The Neuros


Where do we start with this gig? I can wax lyrical about the aspects of fun, the different choice of songs or the unusual presentation of the music. However, although I will come to that later, what is more important for this review is that this was my very first gig with Biker Rock Radio’s very own Prof and what a lot of fun we had.


First of all, who are the Neuros?


Shaun                  Lead vocals and dancing

Jamie                   Lead and Rhythm guitar, backing vocals

Phil                       Bass guitar

Mark                    Session Drum Whore


Almost as soon as we found the bar, Mark the drummer came and said hello to us and gave a statement of intent for the band. However, he is not what you would expect of a professional musician due to his dry darkly humoured honesty and cutting statements that can be applied to the music business as a whole, if you really think about them. For example when asked about the other projects he works with he stated almost seriously that he is in fact just a “drumming whore, a simple musical prostitute going through the motions and ensuring that you get a happy ending!” When asked why he was doing it he grinned and gave us “how could it be better, I get cunted and I get paid!” A man after our own heart and to be honest this pretty much sets up the humour of the band.


So what do the Neuros sound like? Imagine if you can a banging dance music song played by a pub rock band! No really, that is just what they are. Running throughout the music is a big unspoken joke, it is also brilliantly funny and they play the punch line again and again to utter success. This is a group of socially dysfunctional weirdos playing oddly enjoyable music in a style all of their own. The lead singer bounces and sings with the intensity of an autistic looking for attention.


However, it was not just the Band that were strange, while sat at the bar, your scribe was suddenly flattened by a lunatic dancer who wanted to hide her coat! All of the weirdos were out that night.


Through out the set, the Prof and I kept catching each others eye and laughing at the antics of the band, this is in no way a cruel or unkind joke at their expense, they are after all telling the joke and they are telling it with practised perfect skill. The playing is precise and perfectly if almost mathematically done, these guys have clearly practised for a long time, getting every song beat perfect. The bass player though is possibly some kind of a hybrid human/plant crossbreed. He barely moves and seems only to sway gently with the waves of sound produced.


I have to be honest, I did not recognise any of the songs played until they played a Hot Chocolate classic and this had me in fits of giggles because it was just so brilliant. If you get the chance to see this band, please do so because that will absolutely entertain you with their show. While we were watching them, it occurred to the Prof that the lead singer appeared to be the love child of Matt Lucas (as George Doors) and Jimmy Carr and when he expressed this to your scribe, I nearly spat my drink over the floor with laughter.


Mark the drummer was a rhythmic machine and when he took his shirt off he looked every part the serious musician, covered in the intimidating tattoos of a heavy metal legend. However hearing him pound away with a dance music Pub Rock band is just hilarious. The Lady Gaga track they played though makes her look like the pathetic attention whore that she is and to be honest if you want to hear her music played with conviction and style, then see the Neuros.


The Prof pointed out half way through their set that our complaint with a covers band is always the same, a covers band never has their own style, every song is always played to sound like the original band. However, this is just not the case with the Neuros, what they play is most definitely in a style all of their own. The cover of Soft Cell’s Tainted Love though was excellent. This track has been covered by many artists and it tends to come across as creepy and dark. With the Neuros though, the track is back to being pop and fun.


What about the pub though, I have to say that the New Market is really not my sort of place. A leather clad biker was there, but he was alone and looked strangely like the Donkey fucker from the movie Clerks two! I did not tell him this… Most of the women in the there though were the trendy types in vibrant colours and with well set plastic hair styles. The men were in smart jumpers, polo shirts with little emblems and clean trainers. My Goth outfit and Doctor Marten Boots felt rather out of place. However, it actually got worse when a group of men came to the bar as they entered the pub and accompanying them was the distinct smell of pies! The waft at first was not too unpleasant, but as it began to settle upon the nose it grew less and less palatable. Thankfully the pie smelling (reeking?) man wandered off, but he was rapidly replaced by the phantom farter! This was uncalled for. I have a question, what kind of weirdo walks up to a lady at the bar and lets out a long slow stomach turning fart like that? The Prof looked at me in Horrified accusation and I scribbled a hurried note in my pad that I was not responsible for such a vile stench.


At the end of their first set, the band dispersed into the pub, getting drinks and going for a wee, but they all returned except the Lead singer. Mark the drummer came back over for a chat and casually let slip that the young man had run home because he had the nagging feeling that he had left his television on stand by. It was then that this all became clear, they are called the Neuros, they appear to be autsistic and the reason for this is because they are. But don’t be fooled into thinking that this band are a bunch of public transport using weirdos. These boys have a talent for entertaining and they do it very, very well. One thing I would recommend them for though is this, if you are planning a wedding and want a really fun band that every one can enjoy, hire the Neuros, you will not be disappointed. 



The Neuros